A preacher said once, “An elder doesn’t have to prove himself…” He followed that statement with comparing those who would question an elder to the unfaithful, murmuring Israelites in the wilderness. There is a great difference between being a rebellious, complaining Israelite and a person who is seeking to understand why a decision was made. Brethren are commanded by God, whether the preacher and elders like it or not, to “test all things,” and that includes decisions made by the church leaders. But sometimes those in authority just can’t handle being asked anything without bristling, getting defensive and attacking anyone who questions them.
Elders, fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, bosses, school teachers, coaches, presidents, governors, etc. do have to prove themselves. If your response to a question or criticism is to pull rank and say “OBEY ME,” then maybe the problem is with your leadership, not with those who are being led. Pulling rank will work with two-year olds, but not with adults. This isn’t from a leadership manual or a self-help book, it is directly from Scripture.
What about Jesus?
When Jesus was asked by John the Baptist to prove whether He was the coming one, how did Jesus respond? Did He say, “Just obey Me, I don’t have to answer any questions and prove Myself to you!”? No, Jesus gently pointed to the evidence of the miracles and connected it to the prophecies (Luke 7:18-23).
Jesus considered His followers as His friends, and He “told them all things” (John 15:15). Jesus proved Himself to them by His love, His example, His works and His teachings.
What about Paul the apostle?
Did Paul go above and beyond to prove his love and dedication to the brethren? Read 1 Thessalonians 2 to see this attitude of how far Paul went to be vulnerable and transparent to the Thessalonian brothers and sisters. He didn’t pound his authority and rank upon them, he loved them as a nursing mother and a gentle father. Paul lived in such a way that his life would in no way be a contradiction to his message (1 Corinthians 9:23-27).
What about Timothy the evangelist?
Philippians 2:22 – But you know Timothy’s proven worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel. Did you see that? Proven worth! Does an evangelist have to prove himself? Yep. Is he accountable to the brethren? What did Paul teach Timothy? Read 1 Timothy 4:12-16. Timothy was commanded to be an example to the believers, to prove himself as a pattern of growth, integrity and purity for others. A preacher is not above being questioned. People were to look at Timothy and see spiritual growth and progress.
What about elders?
Read 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 which are the character qualities of church shepherds/elders. Look at those passages closely and you will see that the men who are to serve in the office of elders are to prove themselves to the congregation to be blameless men who have the mindset of Christ. Yes, elders do have to prove themselves to become elders.
But what about after men become elders? Do they have to continue to prove themselves?
What did Peter tell the elders in 1 Peter 5:1-4? That they were to be examples to the flock. What does that mean? That means they are to prove themselves worthy of following. Sometimes those in authority are quick to quote Hebrews 13:17 to tell people to obey the elders, but not as quick to quote verse 7 of the same chapter that we are to consider the pathway of faith upon which those leaders walk. If I can’t follow your attitude, character and demeanor because it is abrasive and harsh, then it is hard to follow your decisions, especially when they hurt others.
What about deacons?
Let them also be tested first (1 Timothy 3:10).
Read 1 Timothy 3:8-13. The men who would serve as deacons in the local congregation were to be tested. I believe the “let them also first be tested” means that they are tested just like the elders are tested. Also notice this: “those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves…” (1 Timothy 3:13).
What about business leaders and bosses?
Ephesians 6:9 – Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
Stop your threatening! A master couldn’t pull rank on his servants. He had to give that up. Some in authority just cannot get the concept that others have value and input. But Paul tells these Christian bosses that those servants / employees were just as valuable to God as they are. God doesn’t worship rank and authority like humans do.
Mark 10:42-45 – And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
In order to be a leader in any capacity, we are to prove ourselves worthy of leadership.
What about husbands?
Colossians 3:19 – Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 5:28-29 – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
If I don’t like being treated a certain way by bosses and those in authority, why would I do that to my wife? No one hates his own flesh, Paul said. But your wife is one flesh with you. How you would want to be led and considered is how you are to treat her.
1 Peter 3:7 – Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Peter teaches in the above passage that my wife and I are “fellow heirs.” That means I don’t go around thinking that I OUTRANK my wife. I may be the head of the home, but I must see my wife as my companion, my help-meet, my fellow heir, my friend, and my advisor.
Can I bark orders at my wife? No! Am I allowed by God to make all the decisions at home without asking the input of my wife? No! Do I have to prove myself to my wife? Yes! Being the head of the home does not mean I call all the shots without my wife’s help and advice.
But what about all Christians?
Look at what Paul wrote to the Corinthians. He was testing their dedication and love. All Christians have to prove themselves!
2 Corinthians 8:8 – I say this not as a command, but to prove by the earnestness of others that your love also is genuine.
2 Corinthians 8:22 – And with them we are sending our brother whom we have often tested and found earnest in many matters, but who is now more earnest than ever because of his great confidence in you.
2 Corinthians 8:24 – So give proof before the churches of your love and of our boasting about you to these men.
If you want to be a leader of people, in the home, in the church or in the community, you need to prove yourself worthy of being followed. It is never enough to just have an office or a rank. You need to be the kind of person that is vulnerable, transparent, open and willing to be questioned. Only Jesus is Lord, and even He allowed people to question Him.